:) Sweet Memory Monday

Today is February 1st. It is the Birthday of a very special friend of mine. When I was in 7th grade I was having a very difficult time. My friend turned her back on me, and  was very rude. I was very alone. I saw a girl in my ward that was eating lunch alone. She had on a leopard coat. I asked her if I could eat with her. That question changed my life.

We became very good friends and people knew us as the twins or sistas!   We had secret codes for all kinds of things. We laughed our heads off and my parents loved her.

We wrote hand written letters to each other and each time they were a little bit longer. I have a bag full of 25+ page letters from her. She was my sunshine in a dark world. She made me laugh and find joy. I was blessed in 8th and 9th grades to have her by my side. She accepted me for who I was and loved me no matter what.

For my  15th Birthday, she wrote me a card and told me that no matter what happened,  that she would love me always. I didn’t have any idea what the next year would bring.

Our friendship was a little rocky for a few months after that. She got some different friends, and so did I. One night we had been in a little tiff, and she called me and asked me to spend the night. My mom said no. (blessing) I went up to a church dance and there was an ambulance leaving our small town. I followed it half way to town….just being stupid. When I got to the dance, I found out it was her.

That night around 11 my Best Best friend Janatte Carol Dye passed away. When she took her last breath, she took a huge piece of me with her. When she left this earth, she took some of my sunshine.

She would be 48 years old today. I wish I could take her a cake with 48 candles. I wish I could make her a scrapbook of all our years of memories. I wish I could call her and sing in my off tune voice….”Happy Birthday to you….”

But I can only think of our memories and silently thank her for being my guardian angel.

I think about her a lot. I have missed her so much from the second I learned of her death. I have felt blessed to have been her best friend.

Some days I beat myself up that we were in a fight, and I thought I could……”make up tomorrow.”  The hardest was the day after the funeral, when I opened up OUR locker and saw her stuff there. Her coat, her math book, notes from boys. I thought I could never make it through,  then I felt little goose bumps go up my arm as I felt her there, cheering me on.

She is proud of me. She loves me. She watches over me and my kids.

I knew from the moment of her death, that it was meant to be. I  knew it was her time to go. I have gone to her grave many times and laid there, crying. I have felt her love.

I am sure she is a blogger, sure she will read this. Just want her to know that I love her with all my heart, and that I am sorry. I have regretted every day that I didn’t tell her I loved her. I’m telling her now….I love you Janatte!  Happy Birthday!

This was taken at girls camp the summer before she died.

 

Update at Huntsman: Things look great. They said he is doing wonderful. It was good to have good news!