Lesson Learned

It seems my blogging has come to an end. It seems the blogging world has slowed way down. I am not happy about it because when I don’t blog, my journaling comes to a complete halt!

I’ve been thinking a lot. About what I want my posterity to know about me. Yea the pictures and family activities are a blast, but I want them to know more. More of my heart. More of my past. More of the lessons I have learned. So I am bumping it up. 

Several years ago, I had a friend in my ward that had moved to Idaho from back east. She was struggling with friends. I was her visiting teacher. She expressed that she wanted friends that knew her, loved her kids, and actually came to her home.

I was born and raised in Idaho and lived within a 7 mile radius. I had life long friends. The mother-load of support system. Friends, family, good ward, wonderful neighbors…ect………

I tried to help her. Tried to tell her that if she was best friends with herself, the void would go away. To make her own new family traditions with her kids, thinking that it was kinda crazy that she desired to have people come to her home. I mean like, why? My house is never clean.

I do believe that if you are happy with yourself and your own best friend that you are never alone, but really? How many times can you tell yourself a funny joke? Or show yourself your new purse? Or take yourself to lunch?

Being sister less, my friends filled that void. Why could I not see that it would be any different for her. Why did I make excuses for all the people in her life that didn’t reach out.

This went on for months. I tried to be a good visiting teacher. I went at Christmas time and she showed me all the personal ornaments on her tree and heard what they all meant. I took her a treat. Contacted her every month. Yea, possibly 100 percent on my Visiting Teaching.

But did I fill her needs? Probably not. Did I have empathy? Probably not. The reason possibly is because I had never walked in her shoes. Yes, I had moved to Phoenix for two years in the 90’s but we were flooded by friends and lived close to my mom and dad. I had never felt completely alone.

So why this? Why now?

Because I guess the Lord wants to teach me first hand. Show me how wrong I was. That her feelings and sadness were real. That she needed love and friends. Someone to share her home with. Someone that appreciated her talents. Someone that loved her no matter what.

My move to Utah was just the thing to teach me this lesson.

People are busy. With their own friends and families. I feel misplaced. So homesick. I long to do lunch with all my bunches of friend. My life long friends. I catch my self wishing someone would ring my doorbell so I could invite them into my home. What better way to get to know someone.

It makes me sad that I couldn't see it. I was happy. Happy to be around my family and friends and to think I was helping her loneliness by telling her to be happy with herself.

This world is about friends. It’s about close relationships with inside jokes. It’s about picking up where you left off……whether it be 2 days later or 6 months.

It’s about being there  for someone when they are down. It’s about accepting newcomers. It’s about loving and service. That’s it.

One of those hard lessons learned!