I get by with a little help from my friends…………….

I am sort of OUT OF THE LOOP. If there is a blog loop, that is. It seems that when I fell and ruptured my ACL, my spirit was a little ruptured. Don’t know, just can’t get on top of it. The leg seems to be healing, just can’t do the things I am used to. But I am alive and for that I am grateful. :}

When I was in High School, I went to girls camp at Darby. I was pretty active. We started out on hike day to “conquer the hike of all hikes” TABLE ROCK. It is a very difficult hike. We woke early and packed a day pack. We hiked up the face and down Huckleberry. A few hours into it I began to feel light headed and began to breath heavy. I continued. I didn’t stop. I got so I couldn’t catch my breath. I began to hyperventilate.  The men that went as our Priesthood stopped all the girls. They took my pack and I sat on the side of the trail, crying, as I puffed these airless words “ I can’t go on.”

All the girls and the leaders were encouraging me. “we will help you” and then one man offered to carry my pack. I began back up the mountain. One foot in front of the other. Many times I wanted to give up. Many times the love of others encouraged me on.

I will never forget the feeling as I climbed over the edge, literally  on my hands and knees, sobbing as my friends cheered. I stood up and looked at the majestic Grand Teton. I made it. I had actually made it. All of the hardship and pain was worth looking down on the path that I had just blazed.

So why the story? Because the past year I am sitting on the side of the trail, hyperventilating, saying, “I just can’t go on.”  I know I have to re-group my self and hand over my pack (or problems) to The Lord and let Him carry them. That’s the beauty of the Atonement. I know if I just catch my breath, and stand and take one step at a time, I can make it to the top. I know He will help me, along with the help of family and friends.

Life is tough. There are so many struggling. So many that just can't seem to get one foot in front of the other. So many that doubt and wonder. But because of our Heavenly Father’s plan, we have each other to pull us up and push us along. We have a Savior that Atoned for our sins and will take our burdens and carry them to the very end. It’s wonderful. Although sometimes I have a hard time wrapping my head around it all.

But I do know that after the trials, the heartache and the pain we can make it to the top. I want to be able to face my Savior and be proud that I tried. That I didn’t stay on the side to the trail and give up.

I got on Facebook awhile ago and posted this:

The past three years have been very difficult for me. It seems some days I can't dig out of the hole I am in and if I could I couldn't climb up the ladder hahahahah. I guess I am not learning what I am supposed to learn. They say what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. The problem is is that I am terrified of my trials. They are hard life changing ones that I am not sure of the outcome. Moving has been the hardest because I lost my roots, foundation and support system. My next blog post will be on this topic. Can you give me your words of wisdom that I can publish on my blog ( with your name). I do know that my FB friends have helped me more than you will ever know. For that I am grateful.

I have amazing people in my life. Here are a few of the comments.

I know exactly how you feel. My husband is a journeyman pipe welder. Once we establish the tiniest roots, we are uprooted once again, due to constantly being transferred. Just recently, I decided I am tired of letting Satan rule my happiness... I'm going to find joy in my journey. With each new move, I've found so much beauty in things I once had my eyes closed to, because I missed how things use to be. "We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Heavenly Father has placed so many new wonderful people in my life, I have broken free from my comfort zone, seen things I wouldn't have been able to see, learned more about myself, my marriage has been tested and strengthened, etc. I have realized Heavenly Father has a hand in ALL things. I am placed in a specific area, for a purpose. I have learned so much and my gratitude has expanded vastly for the church. The time that I get to spend with my family seems to be so much more precious and I no longer take them for granted. Last quote (sorry I can't remember the authors), "Until God opens the next door for you, praise him in the hallway." Judy, you are such an amazing lady. Your blog is just as adorable as you are. Kaelonnie O'Rullian Barzee

At times I think of how many of our ancestors coming to the U.S. by either force, fleeing difficult conditions or adventure and of both their courage and the pain which they experienced in leaving family and familiarity behind. My own experience of the sense of being "uprooted" includes six geographical corporate moves. The first relocation felt like I was leaving the womb of friends and family. Young adults going into the military, going off to college and going on missions/commitments go through the same individuation. The moves were initially painful yet as I put my hand out to meet people I began to make new friends. What has happened in all six moves after I reached out I made life long friends. I also had to quit comparing everything to the past which is not always easy. By nature I lean towards introversion so praying for strength to leave my comfort zone helps. Jonathan Clark

Larry's cousins have been more like older sibblings to us. Everything you do with them you can feel the love, acceptance, laughter, and fun. From horse back riding in the mountains to camping and watersports, weddings and so on. This week was really hard as one was diagnoised with Multiple Myeloma. Devastated, it wasn't long between the tears, there was jokes and laughter and a family coming together. Such strenght and integrity they are teaching me. Joan Jones

One day, when I was shopping in K-Mart with my little kids (when they were little), I lost the oldest boy. Panic and despair had taken a good hold of my mind and my heart. I grabbed a clerk described the little guy and what he was wearing. Fortunately, he was soon found at the other end of the store (of course). I was so grateful to have found him! I sternly told him how worried I had been because he was lost. In his most exasperated three year old voice, he told me that he hadn't been lost at all. I was the one who had been lost the whole time. Sometimes we're not as far off course as we think we are...Love you, Girl.
Susan Bodily

I have noticed if I can shift out of being terrified of what I am afraid will happen and just take one tiny step at a time, then the scary things are not so huge. It is always my dread and fear of what could happen that is way, way worse than what actually happens.
I have faced some pretty hard stuff in the last 10 years - and I and my little family have thrived anyway. Our love and support of each other is so strong precisely because we have experienced these things together and loved each other through it. I have had the gift of seeing the true character of my sweetheart and both of my kids when they have been facing gut wrenching things - and they have all shown up as heroes and with grace, kindness and such compassion for each other. I am so grateful to know this about them. That is the gift I see in what we have faced together, Ralene Harker

I hear and understand you Judy. There are some days I feel like I can only make it 1 more hour. Then I make that and I try to make it to the end of the day. For me it's "One day at a time . . . this is enough. Do not look back or grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be trouble about the future for it has not yet come. But live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering." (President Thomas S. Monson) Never forget that your Heavenly Father knows all. He's aware of your struggles and watching you grow as a Daughter of God. You are becoming who he's always known you to be. His Daughter. A Queen. :) Brittany Cook-Hepworth

Judy, you have been such an example and strong person with all that you have gone through. I moved to American Fork 6 years ago. I feel exactly the same way. Losing that support system has been one of the hardest trials. I have to keep reminding myself of the wonderful things in my life and how blessed I am. I don't think that I live that far from you, so if you need a friend to talk to, I'm just down the hill.
Jeana Peterson Nielsen

I am sad that you are having a hard time. I spent a lot of moves doing the same thing. I do it now at times! I spent the entire time I lived in New Jersey wishing I was somewhere else and not that time I spent in New Jersey has sustained me. I had to get over the fact that I am not a bad person if I am not at every family thing. It is ok to have friends lots of places, and everywhere I live gives me new people to serve and love. I have been struggling with some depression myself, so I have just found ways to serve. I spend time with a five year old on Tuesdays to give his mom a break. I also, spend way too much time lost in good books. It is hard for you to move when your children are grown and it is hard to meet people without them. I know how amazing you are because of your great service to the youth including my own children. I guess for me, I have always made cross country moves so I couldn't go "home" on a weekend. It is such a blessing you are so close to those roots. I have a testimony that whether we end up somewhere by choice, by circumstance, or against our will, we can bloom where we are planted. I am not a great social media person, but I didn't want to miss a chance to tell you that I love you and I am so glad you are here. Your smile brings me joy. Where else can you live and nearly hit a deer every time you come home?
Laura Morrin

I feel exactly like you--I am tired and terrified of my trails. They just never end. Keep a stiff upper lip--as my dad always says. Love you Judy!!! Susan Hill Ivey

WOW! It was so nice reading these words of encouragement.

I really don’t want to whine. I don’t want to complain. I am just being real and this life of mine is real life. It’s hard and some days feel straight up hill, but it’s mine and it is beautiful and it is chock full of blessings.

I have a wonderful family and I am so excited about being a grandma. I am grateful for my kids that pull me up and strengthen me. I will make it to the top because of them!